What is co-dependency?

We’ve just about all heard the term co-dependency. However, not a lot of individuals learn what actually means. What is co-dependency? Well, it’s a sickness that people young and old have which renders these people dependent on another man or woman in someway. It is an illness which produces an unhealthy, fanatical love with regard to another person which brings these people to go out of their way for this other person, damaging themselves during the process, as well as can make these folks practically incapable of accomplishing anything without this other person. I can point out there tend to be a lot of couples out there who have got 1 co-dependent individual within the relationship. And unfortunately, this could be what often ends the particular relationship. Now, precisely how do I understand about co-dependency? Well, I had a mild case of it myself, and a unique case.

I was in fact actually mildly co-dependent with regard to my very best friend, Alec. This is frankly pretty awkward to be able to write about, I mean, it’s another dude which is a friend, and I grew to be co-dependent for him, however that’s the simple fact of the particular matter. You see, Alec and I met in high school. We’ve been very best friends for almost 10 years. A handful of years ago, we did almost everything together, and this felt special to be able to have this kind of a strong, male relationship in my life. You see, my father was never there for me growing up, he didn’t give me the closeness which I wanted as a child. So when I got to be so close to this specific friend, a great friend that was very much a male leader, a powerful male support system, I clung to him.

II started not necessarily liking to actually do things on the week-ends or together with any other people unless of course Alec was going. I might make dinner for my own family, then Alec would usually come over. I stopped liking to make dinner in the event that I knew this guy wasn’t coming. Alec is one of those dudes who eats kind of bad and then doesn’t constantly eat in cases where he should. So, I began going out of my way to take meals to his residence and leave them in the man’s fridge. I was constantly making an attempt to be able to make his existence less complicated since this guy meant so very much to me, I simply wanted him to always be well taken care of.

The simple fact is, this guy wasn’t properly taken care of by his mom growing up. So, this guy was missing that attention. My mom took outstanding care of me, consequently I recognized how to offer this care to him. Yet, I didn’t have that dependable male figure in my own life, that this guy provided me. So it then developed this kind of vicious cycle of co-dependency. We quickly realized that what was in fact going on was unusual and it was wrong. We had to take a step away from our own association because that wasn’t good.

That was a very painful time, nevertheless I have come out of it. I went to the shrink and worked out some of the actual problems. One day whenever I was with this shrink I asked, “What is co-dependency?” When he described it, I realized that was what I experienced been regarding Alec, and that I needed to be able to adjust that. And I have. Alec and I are at present good friends, however because of co-dependency, it required a lot of work in order to continue to be like that.

Posted in Addiction Guidance