Be clear about what you want to communicate to them and don't hesitate to express your own feelings about the situation in a calm manner. In fact, saying how you feel is usually a good starting point. Tell your loved one how much it hurts and worries about seeing him addicted to drugs and how much you fear for his or her safety. For example, say: Why haven't you received help yet? , or telling them what they should and shouldn't do seems condescending.
You want to avoid putting more pressure on them and instead be a trusted friend with whom they feel safe. Having a close relationship with someone who actively uses alcohol or other substances can be a big challenge. But saying things like, “If you loved me, you'd stop smoking” is harmful behavior that almost never works. Instead, share your concerns with your loved one.
How can I help you recover? Remind them often that you are willing to be their support for recovery. Remind them that they are valued, that they can do it, and that they are not alone. Of course, if your loved one is hurting, it's incredibly tempting to give them advice that you actually think could help. However, try to remember that the type of treatment your loved one and their care team decide to try may be different from what you imagined.
This could be especially powerful if the person lied to you or hurt you during your relapse, Dr. Mooney says, because it can alleviate the fear that it has irreversibly damaged your relationship. I think what people are often looking for is an opportunity to rebuild that trust, Dr. Like everything else, it's important to ask this question without judgment, Dr.
If you're worried about coming across as condescending, you can say something like: “I don't want to seem like a preacher, has this relapse given you anything? information about your addiction? I wonder if you've discovered anything that could help you get back on this path. You can also encourage them to discuss this issue with their therapist or addiction counselor. Because everyone experiences addiction and relapse differently, it's never a bad idea to ask what the person needs from you instead of assuming. Dr.
Brennan suggests something like: “Is there anything I can do to help you through this period? Because I want to make sure that you return to a place of happiness and safety. It's not uncommon for a person who has relapsed to feel discouraged and enter into a negative thinking pattern. Shifting the focus to your past successes and the potential for success again can be helpful, Dr. She suggests something like: “I know you can do it because you've done it before.
This reminds the person that they have the capacity to be sober, even if it seems impossible at the time. Be specific about what you see. Mention particular incidents, such as when you canceled our plans the other day, instead of generalized statements such as: “He never keeps his word.” It's also helpful to frame the conversation with phrases with I, such as “I've noticed” or “I'm worried”, because your friend can't discuss your perceptions and feelings.